Updated: Apr 21, 2021
Hey Soul Friends, Ever been stuck in your head because of your past life? Ever felt like your past mistakes, your past bad decisions, or your past way of living haunts you and prevents you from Growing Forward?
At the very time God wants to elevate us, is the time when our past wants to come and beat us down as if we are to stay hostage and chained from past transgression.
Its very clever the way it all goes down, for me it always happens when Im excited and have found clear understanding and resolve. I hit a point where I take off and am filled with confidence ready to conquer the world. Im talking the talk, changing my walk, and I feel delivered from confusion or fear of what im being called to do. In that very moment God lets me ride the wave of feeling great, then little by little there are doubts thrown in. Ive now learned that these are just the test and trials that come with the journey, but its the tests of the major things that caused you to resist initially that form old worry, and anxiety towards your new way of life. So then what happens?
You begin to second guess and become captive to your thoughts depicting that your growth was a lie. If it were growth why would it take you back to past pain?
You begin to feel the restraints of your past and begin to think that you cant escape what you used to be. Therefore, you begin to give up and accept the wrong the destiny.
Instead of accepting your past and viewing it as a stepping stool to your TODAY, we justify why we cant be delivered from our yesterday. These things are based on the severity of our past wrong doings comparing sins when God says Sin is Sin. All of these things begin to develop mental chaos and stunts us from the forward march and the appreciation of our past.
I struggle day in and day out and its time I changed my prayer. There is something God wants me to see. It’s something I'm missing as it relates to my past that I will need for my right now and into my future. There’s a peace I need to find within my past, in spite of my pasts feelings. Instead of conforming to my thoughts that have me thinking that I will always be depressed and full of worry, Im vowing to conform to the thoughts that God has spoken over my life. I am committing to peace of mind and creating a song out of my sorrows for others to hear.
I saw a quote on IG that put some things into perspective. “In order to love who you are, you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you” wow. What a great way to view the development of who you can become based on what God has taken you through. You may look back over your life, it may sting,you may ask why, but the person looking back at you in the mirror is a product of those very experiences you deem flawed and try to erase. Find peace in who you were, to acknowledge and accept the greatness in who you are becoming!
I hope this inspires and touches all of you who maybe stuck in your head over your past. The only real way for consistent renewal of your mind is finding the peace that comes with the many pieces that tried to break you. During this pandemic it is easy to fall into the trap of your MIND this is huge for me, but continue to press and pray until something happens. Take your days of chaos, allow yourself to feel and go through it because avoidance doesnt allow the brokenness to escape. Receiving peace will release the beauty of the brokenness you needed to heal.
Love You Guys Ya Hear?! I just pray I can be a voice for others like me, for others who are prisoner to their past and who are being held hostage to negative thoughts that deteriorate self worth.