It‘s my birthday month, and Im so excited about the things I’ve accomplished the year. Thirty-six has really shown me how strong I am. I had double knee surgery, authored 2 children’s books, new job, and a complete year off from my fitness journey which has been devastating for me.
Knee surgery was the hardest thing I’ve done in my life yet. I thought it was the fight to lose 144 pounds, but this definitely took the cake. It’s taught me perseverance, patience, and grace. The pain was unbearable, and I mentally wanted to give up every single day. I was completely fooled in thinking I could be super woman, and beat the recovery time, but I quickly learned the severity of my surgery.
This experience felt like a total rebirth of my leg. I had to learn how to walk again one step at a time, and I had to rebuild the surrounding muscles of my knee, in order to regain the strength I needed. My leg is still numb in areas, and my nerves are still waking up, shooting through my leg as if I‘m stepping in a hot tub of water every couple of hours.
This process has been so significant, because it relates to my journey in developing who I am. In order to keep myself growing internally, I had to learn how to walk as the evolved individual God created. I had to rebuild the muscles that had been weakened by my past in order to be strong for my future, and I had to work up the nerves to face my fears.
This process has prepared me for all the many things I will face in my life.
It‘s helped me to slow down, and gain focus in using my gifts, where I was able to write through my recovery, and give others pieces of me. When God needs your attention, he will take you through uncomfortable experiences to gain full understanding of what needs.
It’s taught me to embrace change, and to be open to new opportunities, even when I don’t understand why. Sometimes God will move you into new places, and he doesn’t seek your permission. This is a test of your faith.
Sometimes God will force you to focus on your internal fitness, before you can begin to mold, and shape your exterior reflection. Although Im not the size I want to be, I’ve still been able to maintain as best I can, and I’m proud of how far I’ve come. I still struggle with my appearance seeing my body completely change, but I’m confident that I needed to take this time to heal internally, to prepare for a major comeback externally.
Im so excited for 37, and I have so many great things in store. I call this, the year of my Dad. My father fought brain cancer so hard, and unfortunately didn’t live past 37. I want to accomplish even more in my new year of life, and continue to carry his legacy.
Happy Sweet July Everyone, embrace your scars, and find the beauty in your healing. Until next time Soul friends! Stay tuned.